Sometimes I wish that I’m invisible.

I would walk around the house and city observing my family and strangers. Seeking for that meaning in their lives.

Why are they working? Why do we need money? Why would he choose her if she’s such a bitch?

I ask  myself questions that I know noone will answer me, because they themselves don’t know that answer.

I read once that in order to understand the world you need to feel it. I have yet to feel and understand myself before I will understand the world.

Lately I had have feelings of doubt. In others and myself.

I won’t pass my exams. I won’t fulfill my dreams. I won’t escape from the nightmares that capture my past.

But it doesn’t matter. Because in the end noone will ask you about it. Imagining a friend I wish for a hug. For someone who’ll hold me while I cry my heart and past out and away. And while I know that there may never be someone like that in my life I have myself and am at least trying to get a grip on the world.

Maybe this post doesn’t make fucking sense but I could at least vent some of my mind out.